Holidays & Year End Reflections

I have started several drafts written on this blog spot since last posting in August and find my mind swirling so these drafts remained incomplete. I find myself struggling to "feel" the Christmas Season with life as it is. Amazing thing is that feelings often follow actions.

This week while I was traveling for business Mother Pettit was in the hospital and my mom continued with doctor appointment after doctor appointment. Also, a good friend learned he has a rare cancer and faces surgery.

Christmas time is when we have deep expectations; dreams, visions of the ideal times together.  Many people are thinking How am I going to do all of the traditions and complete all of the activities. For others it will be like getting through a snowdrift. In many ways are unphased by the pain that surrounds us. It's not about making it the best Christmas, it's about letting go. If you let go of something you have to embrace something else. Could it be the touch of God? This is different for everyone. It may be as simple as really listening. The Christmas Story is about God letting go. Our letting go needs to involve our hearts.

The last few months I have been thinking about these basics, attempting to stay focused on thanksgivings. This Thanksgiving holiday the "kids" invited us to spend it with them in Colorado. The invitation alone was very special. We were able to work out the details and now have new, memories of Thanksgiving. It was exciting anticipating and planning the visit.  Now reflecting on it makes me smile and tear up.  After five days off on "holiday" I admit I just wanted more. It was like a good cup of flavored coffee with flavored cream and a back rub with a big hug.

As I mentally prepare for the year ending, I have a tendency (like many people) toward melancholy or even depression in certain aspects. Not necessarily from all the extra responsibilities involved around Christmas plans or events but the whole of my life. Memories fond and bittersweet. Being separated from love ones, missing the "kids".  Disappointment in myself when I am mean, selfish, harsh, unworthy, on edge with a tongue that is less grace filled. When these emotions swirl I recognize my need to let go and embrace my Lord Jesus.

Last Christmas both the Pettits and Vander Wagens spent it at the hospital with Pops Pettit.  We were all amazed at how he rallied to stick with us. These are reminders that time is passing with a heightened awareness of loved one's mortality. It's important to stop and reflect on all we have to be grateful. We often fail to appreciate how precious each year, each moment, each relationship and interaction really is. There are so many distractions (tasks, facebook, video games, TV, shopping, saying yes to every activity) keeping us from focusing on the present.

Think about how our present reality hinges on the course of events and decisions we make.

God knows this better than anyone. At Christmas we celebrate His greatest risk of all. Think about God Almighty lying in a manger as a helpless baby, the chance He took for the sake of love. He was mocked, beaten brutally, killed. Then He conquered death and sin and returned to heaven to prepare a beautiful home for us. He could force us to love Him in return; He has enough power to make us do anything He wants us to do. But He doesn't desire the love of a puppet so He simply woos us as a lover and longs for us to return His love. We can deny His love, struggle alone instead of rejoicing daily in the knowledge of Jesus who offers to share our burdens and ease our load. We can choose His forgiveness and surrender to Him and He will live, love and hurt along side us.

This Christmas, may you know the God who loves you with a love like no other, may you ponder this love as Mary did when Jesus was born (Luke 2:19) that first Christmas.

Joy to the world, peace to everyone, and hope when life is hard.