Still trying

I am continually trying to figure myself out. Why I do things the way I do them. How come I respond in certain ways to certain things? What method will God use to get my attention this time. Ioften analyze and get caught up in minor details because I really want to understand. Not in the technical sense since I am more emotional, thinking, preparing and planning. Structure allows me to be effective. Conflict provokes one to think about who you are and what your life is about. It pushes one to define values more clearly...again who you want to be. The last post I wrote that I'm still trying to figure out who I am so I can be the best "real" me. What I do know is that God doesn't need me but He stil wants me. I desperately need God even though on the average day I am caught up in myself. God treasures me and actually anticipates my departure from this earth to be with Him. I forget that my life is truly a vapor. The deeper questions are: Do I love God who is everything or do I just love everything He gives me? Do I really know Him and believe that He loves me individually, personally and intimately? Do I see and truly know Him as Abba Father? Do you?