Leftovers

The Lord, My Father continues to use experiences in my life to show me more of His heart and how I do so often grieve Him. On Memorial Day our "kids" Crystal and Jeremiah moved back to Chicago which means they are now logistically closer to us. Similarly, I move closer to My Father when I surround my senses (thinking, hearing, seeing) with more of Him. The kids have a fairly large contingent of friends and family in the Chicago area so all of us put pressure on them for their time. When this occurs sometimes I start to feel like I'm getting the "leftovers", like I am less important to them. Today, My Father impresses upon my heart how I do that to Him too. I give Him the leftovers rather than the "main meal", my undivided heart and focus. My Father does not get angry or give me "attitude" like I have a tendency to do with Crystal. I am thankful that My Father convicts me so I can stop giving Crystal the attitude, stop hurting my soft hearted child. I hurt her, I hurt my son-in-love, I hurt myself and I hurt My Father. Thankfully then I am led to apologize and seek forgiveness. Crystal is a tremendous example of forgiveness as she has often displayed in her short life. My Father constantly shows me the example of patience,love, tenderness, compassion, and mercy. Additional lessons from My Father include: * I need to pay attention * I need to obey * I need to give Him the main meal, the first course rather than the leftovers * I must stop from provoking, hurting or further damaging my child * need to be joyful and grateful when our lives do get to overlap. Just yesterday morning I shared with a friend: Letting go is a continual journey. It gives us a clue on the heartbreak the Lord, Our Father experienced and still experiences each day with His children. With that said I admit I often still cry when saying goodbye and also saying hello. There is absolutely nothing like being a mom!